In this thought-provoking episode of Podcasts by Dr. Kirk Adams, Dr. Adams sits down with author, speaker, and boundary expert Sheryl Green for a wide-ranging and deeply human conversation about why boundaries matter, and why so many of us struggle to set them. Green shares her personal journey from forensic psychology and years of animal rescue work to a moment of burnout that became a turning point in her life. That experience led her to study, teach, and ultimately write about boundaries as a practical, compassionate tool for protecting our time, energy, relationships, and sense of self. Together, they unpack concepts like “yes-vomiting,” people-pleasing, and the hidden costs of failing to say no, especially when it comes to emotional and time boundaries.
The conversation takes on added depth as Dr. Adams connects Green’s boundary framework to the lived experience of disability. Drawing from his own life as a blind leader, he explores how people with disabilities routinely face boundary violations, ranging from intrusive questions to unwanted physical “help”, and how understanding boundaries can be empowering rather than isolating. Green reflects on the difference between impairment and disability, acknowledges the role of “aggressive helpfulness,” and emphasizes that setting boundaries is not about shutting people out, but about creating healthier, more respectful interactions. The episode closes with a shared call to action: building a more inclusive, empathetic world, one boundary at a time.
TRANSCRIPT:
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Podcast Commentator: Welcome to podcasts by Doctor Kirk Adams, where we bring you powerful conversations with leading voices in disability rights, employment and inclusion. Our guests share their expertise, experiences and strategies to inspire action and create a more inclusive world. If you’re passionate about social justice or want to make a difference, you’re in the right place. Let’s dive in with your host, Doctor Kirk Adams.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Welcome, everybody, to another episode of podcasts by Doctor Kirk Adams. And I am that Doctor Kirk Adams speaking to you from my home office in Seattle, Washington. And today I have a guest on. I’m really excited to to engage in some deep conversation. Author, speaker and boundary expert Sheryl Greene is with us today. Hi, Sheryl.
Sheryl Green: Hi. Thank you so much for having me on here.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yeah, absolutely. And my first experience with Sheryl was being interviewed by her for a book she’s writing. She’s written a series of books, and I’ve signed up for her newsletter. And just very interesting food for thought. And her area of interest and focus is, is boundaries. And she is not necessarily as immersed in disability world and lived or learned experience around disability as most of my guests have been. So I’m, I’m super interested in talking with you about boundaries. What led you to focus, what your interest is, how how you think about boundaries, how you assist people in living better lives by knowing how to set boundaries. And then I’d really like to talk to you a little bit about some of my thoughts around disability and boundaries and get your take on that. So I love it. Before we get into that, for anyone who doesn’t know me, I am a Kirk Adams. I’m a blind person, am I? That’s that’s that’s my primary identity. I am also a a father, a scholar, a grandfather, now, a husband for 40 years. My retina is detached. When I was five years old became totally blind overnight. Went to a school for blind kids for second, third grade. Learned my braille, my cane, travel my typing in the public school, on on up through college.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Corporate America, Banking and Finance for ten years, then into the nonprofit sector led the American Foundation for the blind, most recently Helen Keller’s organization prior to that same leadership roles at the Lighthouse for the blind here in Seattle. And now I have a consulting practice called Innovative Impact, LLC. I do whatever I want that I think will be fun and innovative and high impact and will make a difference and make the world a more inclusive place for people with disabilities. I primarily focus on employment, creating career pathways for people with disabilities. I also advise a handful of disability tech startups. I work with some nonprofits to help them scale past the founder stage and increase their impact. And I have a podcast and do some writing and living the life here in here in Seattle. So, Sheryl Want to hand the microphone to you. And I’m always curious how people come to their avocation or their passion or their purpose. And your purpose is to help people understand boundaries and understand what boundaries the dynamics of boundaries in people’s lives and how people can live better lives by understanding setting. And, you know, I’ve been reading your newsletter with great interest. So would love, love, love to hear your story for sure.
Sheryl Green: So yeah, I like to say my mission is to make the world a better place. One boundary at a time.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Okay.
Sheryl Green: So my story is a little circuitous, if you will. I actually went to a graduate school for forensic psychology. I was goth back in the day, and I wanted to hunt down serial killers for a living. Thankfully, that didn’t pan out. But it kind of led to an interesting decade and a half, almost two of really searching for my purpose and my reason for my reason for being here.
Sheryl Green: I think the the closest that I came before this was animal rescue. I’m a huge, huge animal advocate. And when I was going through my divorce, animals are pretty much what saved me. Between my own dog and volunteering and getting involved, it just completely set my life on a different path. And I did animal rescue for 12 years. I worked in multiple capacities. I was a volunteer. I was a board member. I worked part time at one point, and then during Covid I went full time. I had been running my own content writing business for a little while, and when when Covid hit and the world shut down like many businesses, mine evaporated overnight. People were not so worried about getting blogs out there when they didn’t know if they were going to live to see the next week. So I, you know, pivoted and I went full time at the rescue and threw myself into you know, into taking care of the animals. But I was I was on the, the marketing and the communications side of it. So I called myself the director of communication and cuddling which is a very important job. Thank you very much. So so I did that for you know, probably about a year that I was full time. And if you’ve ever worked in nonprofit, I know you have. You know, full time is not eight hours a day. It’s you know, ten, 12, sometimes 14 hours a day. And it’s, you know, no one really goes into nonprofit to get rich. So each, each month, I saw my savings account going down, and I wasn’t necessarily making enough money to to keep a roof over my head and. And kibble in the dog’s bowl.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yeah.
Sheryl Green: So when my clients started coming back, I. I wanted to take them, of course, but more importantly, I had to. And And it was, you know, it was okay for a little while, I would work my ten, 12 hour days, and then I would come home and and work on client projects in the evening. And then, of course, we have, you know, life is life is still lifing. So my parents were getting older and they were needing more and more of my help. My stepmom had been sick for about 20 years at that point. And I’m still volunteering for everything because I never met a board I said no to. Okay.
Dr. Kirk Adams: And we share that weakness.
Sheryl Green: Yeah.
Sheryl Green: I have a good book for you to read.
Sheryl Green: So, you know, it got to the.
Sheryl Green: Point where I was overwhelmed. I was having having trouble sleeping, but having trouble staying awake. I was really short with people. My normally pretty positive and pleasant demeanor turned into me snapping at people. And I’m not proud of the amount of times that I said I just can’t effing do this anymore. So things were getting rough, and what really, really hit me the most was this feeling of resentment that was building up. I felt like every request was this unreasonable demands on my time, and I was starting to resent the people that I loved, and even to some degree, the animals. And it it all kind of hit hit rock bottom, I guess. It’s probably about October of that year, and I was running an errand.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Is this the first year of the pandemic or.
Sheryl Green: This is 2022, I think.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Okay.
Sheryl Green: Yeah. Somewhere. Somewhere around there.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Gotcha.
Sheryl Green: And I had or 2021.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Excuse me. Okay.
Sheryl Green: And I was, you know, I’m out running an errand for the rescue. It’s it’s probably about 6:00 at night. And lights, you know, headlights are starting to come on, and I had just been crying nonstop for weeks at that point, and I had this split second thought of, you know, if I just crossed over the median, this could all be over in a second.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yeah.
Sheryl Green: And it was just this huge wake up call, obviously. I mean, I, I didn’t want to hurt anybody else for sure. And I didn’t want to leave my, my dogs or my parents without anyone to take care of them. So I managed to pull myself over onto the side of the road, and I just sat there crying for a good ten minutes, trying to calm myself down and realizing that if something major didn’t change in my life very quickly, I wasn’t going to be around to help anybody.
Sheryl Green: Took a month off from the rescue and ended up not going back. And over the next six months I cleared off my plate and then watched it all build back up again.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Different things, different things, different things. Okay.
Sheryl Green: Different. The same. It just, you know, all the all the. I say all the tasks came back and they brought friends.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Okay.
Sheryl Green: And it took about about six months before a friend of mine sent me an article about boundaries. I remember looking at it and just going like, oh, this sounds like something I should have.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yeah.
Sheryl Green: And, you know, I, I learned through reading.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Why why did that why did you send you that article?
Sheryl Green: Because she probably knew something I didn’t.
Sheryl Green: You know, I was at that point where I couldn’t even, I couldn’t see what was right in front of me. And the problem at hand so yeah, it, I think she just knew something I didn’t and knew I was struggling.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Well, that’s a good friend.
Sheryl Green: That is a good friend. And yeah, I ended up, I figured, hey, if I have this problem, I’m probably not the only one who does.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Right?
Sheryl Green: So I started writing a book, and I did my research, you know, in an in an effort to write this book and to learn to learn my way, but also to help other people along their path. And I’ve been teaching boundaries and writing about them ever since, and I finally found my purpose. Really? Long story.
Dr. Kirk Adams: No, no, I’m. I’m just thinking. So is there Gosh, how do you go about learning about boundaries? You said you spent time learning, learning about and understanding boundaries.
Sheryl Green: I did I well, I read everything I could get my hands on. I’ve. I’ve been an avid reader since I was eight years old, and you know, was failing social studies and my parents told me I couldn’t watch TV anymore. So.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yeah.
Sheryl Green: The Baby-Sitters club was my gateway drug.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Hey.
Dr. Kirk Adams: I have a daughter named Rachel. Who?
Dr. Kirk Adams: There you go.
Dr. Kirk Adams: It was in California because she read a Baby-Sitters club book with a girl from California. In it. She was 12. Said I’m moving to California.
Sheryl Green: I love that. It really I mean, it had a profound impact on so many. But yeah, I just I read everything I could. I started reaching out to you.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Studied psychology, right? I did talk about forensic psychology. So? So I’m imagining there are scholars and people who study boundaries from that lens. Right?
Sheryl Green: From the forensic lens I.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Have from.
Dr. Kirk Adams: The just looking at boundaries from a psych. Oh, yeah.
Sheryl Green: Yes. Yeah. For sure. And I think, you know, that was part of I’m very clear in my book. Look, I’m not a therapist. I’m not. And I did give it to a therapist before I published it because I wanted to be responsible and say, like, hey, I don’t want to hurt anyone.
Dr. Kirk Adams: You know? So let’s be more specific. The book tell, tell. Oh, sorry about sorry. That’s okay.
Sheryl Green: Everyone knows.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yeah, well, a lot more people are about to know.
Sheryl Green: So. Yeah, while I was going through this, I wrote a book called You Had Me at know how setting healthy boundaries helps banish burnout, repair relationships, and save your sanity.
Dr. Kirk Adams: You had me at. No.
Sheryl Green: You had me at no.
Dr. Kirk Adams: And I, Sheryl with an S.
Sheryl Green: Yes, yes. Sheryl with an S. And you know, I haven’t done an audiobook yet. There is an e-book. I haven’t done an audiobook yet, but I always tell people if they want to hire me, I’ll drive around in the car with them and read.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Oh, there you go.
Sheryl Green: So?
Dr. Kirk Adams: So tell tell us, tell us about the book. Give it. Give us the the CliffsNotes version of. Of what? What you teach.
Sheryl Green: Yeah. So I, I talk about first why we don’t set boundaries.
Sheryl Green: And so yes, I’m coming from a psychology with a, you know, a spice of forensics in there. But I also majored in anthropology in college, and I wanted to look at not only the individual but also the the group dynamic that goes into boundaries or a lack thereof. And I think, you know, look, I can teach people to set boundaries all day long, but if they don’t actually believe that they have the right to set boundaries which many, many of us don’t or didn’t. Okay. All the tools and tricks in the world aren’t going to help.
Dr. Kirk Adams: And why don’t we set boundaries? Or why don’t we think we have the right to set boundaries?
Sheryl Green: So the really quick and the really silly answer is we’re afraid of getting eaten.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Okay.
Sheryl Green: So if you look at this from a biological you know, anthropological standpoint.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yeah.
Sheryl Green: We’ve got that lizard brain that’s still kind of ruling many of our decisions when we’re in a fear state. And we, you know, when we’re a part of the group and a part of the tribe and, and we’re all working together, there’s somebody that’s watching our back so we can go to sleep. And, you know, we’re not going to get eaten by a passing tiger, right? But if we if we do something that displeases the tribe, then, you know, we’re not we’re not pulling our own weight or we feel like we are taking advantage or whatever that may be. We’re afraid of being cast out. And if we get cast out, then a tiger can get us. So it sounds silly, and I promise you, no one in the moment is going if I say no to, you know, picking up my, you know, sister’s kids or something. I’m gonna be eaten. However, that’s what our brain is actually doing.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Gotcha. So I had studied immunity to change. There’s a book. Immunity to change. Interesting. Kagan, Lahey. And and the premise is to understand what bad thing will happen if I change. So it’s, you know, they talk about weight loss and people smoking, and we know it’s good. We know it’s good for us. We know we want to do it. We know we should do it. Why don’t we do it? Because deep down, somewhere, we think something really bad will happen if we do that change. So that’s that’s that’s what you just reminded me of when you talked about that. We know we should set boundaries. We know we should do what’s best for us. We know we should guard our time and our energy. Yeah, but we don’t because we’re afraid something bad will happen. Yeah.
Sheryl Green: Yeah. And I mean to your point with, you know if you stop smoking yeah you’re going to be healthier. But hey you probably hang around with a lot of other smokers right. And if you stop smoking well there you go. You’re out of the tribe.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yep. Yep. Gotcha. So so then how do we go about changing? Yeah.
Sheryl Green: So realizing it is the first step, honestly knowing knowing that you not only have the right, but you also actually have the responsibility to set boundaries. And that that sounds a little bit, you know, a little bit weird. But boundaries are not just something we do for ourselves. They’re actually something that improves our relationships, that protects the people around us, that help us serve our clients better. They help us, you know, take care of our children better. Whatever. Whatever your deal is. So we actually cause more problems when we don’t set boundaries. And I just I just wrote a blog about this, and I don’t. I think it might have gone live today, but you know, people pleasing we we think of that as, you know, I’m thinking about everybody else right now, and I’m just going to do whatever they want just to make them happy. But it’s actually really selfish because we’re doing it to protect ourselves from the immediate discomfort of letting someone down. So it’s kind of a little flip on it. So.
Dr. Kirk Adams: What what what what what types of things. I don’t, I don’t know, the language probably is but I’ll, I’ll fumble my way through this. But what, what types of things do we need to set boundaries around or against or what what what what types of things that can be negative impacts in our lives. Do we need to build boundaries? I don’t know what words you set boundaries around. Set boundaries against. You’re good. What are the types of things you know? I can think of the obvious things like, you know, I just did it today. Will you join our board? I said sure. Can you can you watch our kids Friday night? Can you loan me money? Can you can we build a can? Can we build a fence between our yards? And will you pay? Half that just happened to me. Yeah.
Sheryl Green: Oh my God. So the answer, the quick answer. Is everything okay? The longer answer is. So there’s actually six inter internationally six recognized boundary categories. And then I added a seventh.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Okay.
Sheryl Green: But you’re you’re looking.
Dr. Kirk Adams: See, that’s what I should have said. I should have said Sheryl, what are the seven boundary categories?
Sheryl Green: You’re good. I trust me, I don’t know a lot of the words for your world. So we’re we’re we’re even. It’s okay.
Dr. Kirk Adams: So what are the seven boundary?
Sheryl Green: So they are time materials, which includes money, physical, sexual, emotional. I don’t know how many I just said, but and then I think that was all of them. And then I added one which is relational, which is pretty much how you allow the people and the animals in your life to be treated. So if you are a leader, you know, are you letting your employees are you letting your customers you know, scream at your employees? And the reason I came up with this is because I had someone at my house who didn’t want my dog putting his cute little face on their leg, and they kicked him.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Oh, boy.
Sheryl Green: Yes. So he that that man is no longer welcome in my house or my world. But you know, when you think when we think about boundaries, I my very basic definition is how you allow yourself, and by extension, your stuff, to be treated. Okay, that’s the really un un unofficial definition there. But you know, when you think about it, I’m going to go out and say absolutely everything in our life comes down to a boundary.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Okay. So let’s I’d like I’d like to think through a couple things with you together so people with disabilities. So first let’s talk about the difference between an impairment and disability. And I think you and I talked about that.
Sheryl Green: Yes. It blew.
Dr. Kirk Adams: My mind. For your for your book. So I have a visual impairment. I cannot see. So my sense of sight is impaired. But that doesn’t mean I am always in a disabling situation. So I think the little example I used with you, which I use a lot, is if I’m running that board meeting and I have my agenda in Braille and my committee reports and my finance reports I am my vision. My visual impairment does not put me in a disabling situation because I’m a Braille reader. I can manage that meeting just as well as a sighted person could with print. But if I walk in, sit down at the conference table and you slide me a stack of print, then I am in a disabling situation because my impairment does not allow me to interact effectively with the built environment of the print. And there’s the three environments the built, the digital and the social. So, so given that there’s there’s a lot of misunderstanding about disability and impairment and whether a person’s in a disabling situation or not, there’s a lot of fluidity around that that the general population hasn’t either lived with a disability or known someone deeply who has a disability. They don’t understand that weight, that impairment with a disability. And then there’s these tropes. There’s the heroic trope where you’re so inspirational. And I’ve had people, I’ve had people say, you do so well, as I sit down in an airplane seat and buckle my seat belt.
Sheryl Green: Did they pat you on the head? That would be. That would be.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Nice. And then there’s the helpless. The assumption that that you’re you’re not capable. So assumed incompetence. But I got it. Our our boundaries are invaded. I thought, you know, sexual terribly. People with disabilities are sexually abused more than the general population. But then there’s physical and emotional. So staring you know, studies show that people with disabilities are stared at in a way that a person without a disability never would be. Questions people ask. Right? How you know. I’ve had people writing a city bus. I just need to ask how. How did you know? How do you get dressed? How? You know how do you know what clothes to put on? Right. Taking the metro bus, reading Braille for many years, going downtown to Seattle for work. I had people dozens of times ask me, what are you reading? And I don’t hear them asking anyone else on the bus who’s reading? What they’re reading. You know, grab invading, invading our space and and our bodies. You know how how many times have a blind person listening to this? You’ve been standing at a curb waiting for the light to change. You’re using your techniques. You’re listening for the traffic to to move. So, so, you know, to cross with the flow of the traffic and have someone grab you, you know, physically grab you and propel, start propelling you across the street. Right? Things that people would never do to someone who, who didn’t have a, an apparent impairment. So just from your level of expertise just any thoughts on on on what what I just said or.
Sheryl Green: Yes. So, I mean, so many I, you know, the first thing I would say is, and I actually, I’m about to write the chapter where I’m going to talk about our conversation. Awesome. So this this came at a really good time. I stopped this morning right before it, just so we could have this conversation. Okay. I bet it’s going to be more helpful. So, you know, I think I think one thing to realize is that most people. I’m not saying not I’m not saying everyone there are some true asshats out there. But most people are not coming from a bad place. Does not make it easier on you. I’m just saying most people are not going like, hahaha, there’s a blind guy I’m gonna, like, scare him and drag him across the street, right?
Dr. Kirk Adams: I would agree with you.
Sheryl Green: You know, I think, I think for the most part people are like, hey, they’re making an assumption which is not appropriate, but they’re making an assumption that this person needs help. And I can help them and, you know, or asking questions. Again, I don’t think it’s most of the time coming from a bad place. I think it’s probably coming from a, hey, I’m I’m curious. You know, I want to learn more, like an inquisitive place. All that to say, not that you should just put up with it. But I think I think switching, switching the mindset over from, you know, it’s it’s kind of like a an attack to it’s it it’s aggravated helping.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Okay. That’s good.
Sheryl Green: So and I will say, you know, I have a, I have a good friend that I’ve, I’ve done rescue with for years. She is a quadriplegic and, you know, has the use of basically one hand, she’s in a motorized wheelchair. And of course, there are questions you know, when we when I’ve been out and about with her especially, you know, we we used to go to schools and talk to them about how to, how to care for, for dogs and cats. But, you know, she, I think kind of really mastered the art of, you know, if somebody was staring at her, she just said, hey, I notice you’re looking at me. Did you have any questions? Because usually, usually they’re coming from a good place. I think the the the cross that that you have to bear. Not that I’ve ever used that explanation or that wording, but is to to set boundaries in situations that other people wouldn’t have to is to be able to say you know, I’m actually not comfortable talking about what happened or I don’t, I don’t share that with strangers. Thank you for asking. You know, if you want to continue the conversation, tell me something about you. I like that, you know if somebody does does grab you, and it does feel like they’re, you know, about to propel you across the street. Just saying. Whoa. Hey, you know what? I actually appreciate your concern. However, it’s appropriate to ask before touching someone.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Right?
Sheryl Green: You know, it’s it’s that it’s those. How do I put that? It’s it’s the human decencies that we were supposed to be taught as children, and we’ve definitely lost. In a lot of circumstances. But I think I think it’s aggressive helpfulness in a lot of a lot of situations. And I think it’s about setting those boundaries, educating people. And I’ll be honest, you educated me. When I set out to write this book, I had absolutely no idea that disability or impairment or accommodations were going to be a part of this. It was not that was not on my radar. It is, you know, thankfully, something I’ve never really had to deal with. And I didn’t know it existed, you know, I didn’t know that world was out there. So would I personally ever grab someone at a, you know, a stoplight? Dear God, no. But I’m sure I have probably, you know, glanced at somebody for a little bit longer than is comfortable for them. Because I did notice that they had something different.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Right.
Sheryl Green: And I certainly didn’t mean anything by it, but I especially where I am right now, if someone said to me, hey, did you have a question, I would have been like, oh, man, I’m sorry.
Dr. Kirk Adams: And and how about in Internal Boundaries? And I’m thinking about you said educate people. And oftentimes we feel like we’re being asked to educate people all day long. Yeah. And you know, I think about, you know, picking your battles, you know, when I’m my wife and I are heading out to on vacation, we’re in the airport all happy, ready to go to Maui. And you know, the TSA person says, can I see his ID? And I say, oh, you need my ID? Here it is. Yeah. Am I going to pause and educate that person? I’m probably going to make a decision, you know, not not not to do that. Right. If I’m in a restaurant and the way, you know, the server comes up and ask my wife, what would he like? Yeah. You know, I’ll probably say, well I’m, I’m visually impaired, but I, I can hear and I can speak.
Sheryl Green: I’d like to be spoken to directly.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yeah. And she she she I love her so much. We’ve been married 40 years. She often says very brightly. Doctor Adams can would like to would prefer to speak for himself. So but you know, microaggressions.
Sheryl Green: Yeah.
Dr. Kirk Adams: We have a there’s a wonderful blind woman named Chancey Fleet. She works at the Andrew Heiskell Talking Book and Braille Library in New York City. And she once posted on Facebook some something that had happened to her during the day and she said, if I want microaggressions, I’ll go to the airport. That’s how I was stuck. Stuck with me. But So. Boundaries aren’t always set. Again, just thinking out loud. They’re not always set through interactions with other people. So there are boundaries that you set for yourself internally, I imagine. Yes. That, that that need to be considered like just you’re like, I just said my decision. No, I’m not going to. I’m not going to. There’s a thing called spoon theory that comes from chronic illness.
Sheryl Green: Yes.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Like you wake up in the morning with eight spoons of energy and I’ve got four left, and I’m not going to spend one spoon on educating this, this TSA person. Yes, I choose, I choose to keep that spoon in reserve. So just any thoughts around that kind of.
Sheryl Green: Yeah.
Dr. Kirk Adams: That kind of dynamic.
Sheryl Green: There is very much internal boundaries. And there I really think every person whether you’ve got an impairment or not, needs to make that decision of what am I going to allow to bother me?
Sheryl Green: And I actually I just finished reading let them by Mel Robbins and I, it’s, it’s so simple. It’s infuriating kind of thing.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Okay.
Sheryl Green: And you know, I when we put it in that situation, it’s I’m going to mildly curse here. Let the TSA agent be a dumbass.
Sheryl Green: And let you not allow that to ruin your day.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yeah.
Sheryl Green: You know, I it’s it’s easier said than done. But you know, we each make a decision whether or not we want to walk around angry our entire lives. And that is, that falls under emotional boundaries. Right. We don’t. We don’t have the power to make anybody angry or sad or happy or whatever, and vice versa. They don’t have that power over us. They can trigger us for sure, but ultimately it’s up to us to decide, hey, what’s what’s the emotion that I want to sit in right now? And you, I mean, you have every, every right to let that TSA agent ruin your flight and your entire vacation. Or you can just go, dumbass. And, you know, well, don’t call them that, because you’ll get thrown out of the airport. But, you know, you you have that option to say it and then just let it go.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yeah. So I’m imagining of the seven categories, the emotional boundary may be the most challenging.
Sheryl Green: You know, I find emotional and time. Right. Time is, I think, usually the one that most people are aware of having a problem with. And just today, as you said, you agreed to be on a board. Yeah. So, you know, what’s what’s the time commitment that you just made? And I, you know, I’m not going to ask, like, whether, you know, you thought through that or whatever, but we we too often, I think I call it. Yes, vomiting, which is disgusting. Sorry.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Okay. Tell me more.
Sheryl Green: But for for anybody who’s ever been asked something and you’re like, hey, would you mind? And you’re like, yeah, sure, I can do that. And do you want me to do this other thing as well? You know, like that that. Yes, I’ll do it comes flying out of our mouths before before we we can think about it. And I think for the most part, that applies to the time boundaries.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Okay.
Sheryl Green: Okay.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Well this time flew by. I I love getting your newsletter, I always pause, it’s always helps me to center my thinking around, and I’m thinking about energy and using my energy wisely and the myriad pathways before me and the myriad demands on time and energy and emotion. And you, you’ve really been helpful to me in that. So for for others who are listening, how how can they access your wisdom? What’s a good way to connect to get the book to sign up for the newsletter?
Sheryl Green: Oh, I love that. Access my wisdom. I’m going to be using that later and it’s going to piss my husband off. They’re just accessing my wisdom. So kind of my hub is https://SherylGreenSpeaks.com. It’s S H E R Y L Green Speaks.com. And you can get a I’ve got two things to download on there, both of which will put you on my newsletter. One is for leaders, for a professional setting, and the other one is just a how to say no cheat sheet. It’s just to.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Have.
Sheryl Green: That those words. And I’ve, I’ve heard good things. People have it laminated and on their, on their wall.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yeah. Yeah.
Sheryl Green: And then my book is available on Amazon. Again, it’s, “You Had Me At No”. And I do speaking engagements. I do consulting for for businesses. And I would just, like I said, I’d love to help make the world a better place. One boundary at a time.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Nice. And you’ve you’ve taught me a lot. I continue to learn from you. I appreciate it. I like to I love the fact that you said you’ve learned some things from me. So that’s that’s that’s how we all work together.
Sheryl Green: Yes.
Dr. Kirk Adams: And have collective action on making the world a better place. So for me, if you’d like to get in touch on LinkedIn every day I’m @KirkAdamsPhD, on LinkedIn. I have a website, https://drkirkadams.com. I have a newsletter and I would love to connect with any anyone out there who wants to talk about making the world more inclusive and empathetic place. So thank you for listening to podcasts by Doctor Kirk Adams. We’ll see you next time. Thank you Sheryl.
Sheryl Green: Thank you.
Podcast Commentator: Thank you for listening to podcasts by Doctor Kirk Adams. We hope you enjoyed today’s conversation. Don’t forget to subscribe, share or leave a review at https://www.DrKirkAdams.com. Together we can amplify these voices and create positive change. Until next time, keep listening, keep learning and keep making an impact.
” Inclusion isn’t just the right thing to do — it’s a strategic advantage. “
Dr. Kirk Adams, Ph.D.
Advocate, Leader and Keynote Speaker on Disability Inclusion & Leadership
Leading the Way to Accessible Innovation
Institute for Sustainable Diversity and Inclusion (ISDI)
Executive Director
Strengthening individual and organizational capability for creating diverse, inclusive and equitable workplaces.
Innovative Impact, LLC Consulting
Managing Director
Impactful Workforce Inclusion Starts Here
American Foundation for the Blind
Immediate Past President & CEO
To create a world of no limits for people who are blind or visually impaired.
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