In this warm episode of Podcasts by Dr. Kirk Adams, Kirk welcomes Stephanie D. Sanders, a transformational motivational speaker and performer from Lakeland, Florida, who first wrote to him years ago when he was president and CEO of the American Foundation for the Blind, and who later met him in person at the National Federation of the Blind convention in Orlando. Stephanie tells her story from the beginning: legally blind in one eye since birth but undiagnosed until kindergarten, treated through the University of Florida, and raised as the youngest of three by a mother who did not yet know why her daughter kept giving the wrong answer. She describes refusing to let her vision define her, the sports and cheerleading years, the basketball injury that ended her track-and-field and Olympic hopes, and the pivot that followed into sports announcing, a mass communications degree in radio, television and film production, and a career in entertainment.
From there the conversation follows her from a Seattle radio station in the early 1990s to Los Angeles, where an improv workshop at the Hollywood Black Film Festival drew unexpected praise from actress Cee Cee Michaela and convinced her to make the move. She talks about her CD, book and audiobook One More Day, sings a few lines of her song Hold On Tight on air, and joins Kirk in a candid exchange about intersectionality, privilege and disclosure, in which he recounts negotiating a car by telephone as Dr. Kirk Adams and then losing interviews the moment he walked in with a long white cane. Both return repeatedly to faith, resilience and the value of community, and the episode closes with how to reach Stephanie and with Kirk’s invitation to join the Community Coalition at the Institute for Sustainable Diversity and Inclusion.
TRANSCRIPT:
Podcast Commentator: Welcome to Podcasts by Dr. Kirk Adams, where we bring you powerful conversations with leading voices in disability rights, employment and inclusion. Our guests share their expertise, experiences and strategies to inspire action and create a more inclusive world. If you’re passionate about social justice or want to make a difference, you’re in the right place. Let’s dive in with your host, Dr. Kirk Adams.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Welcome, everybody, to another episode of Podcasts by Dr. Kirk Adams. I am that Dr. Kirk Adams, talking to you from my home office in Seattle, Washington. And today I have a guest that I’ve known for quite some years now. It’s Stephanie D. Sanders. Stephanie hails from Florida, born and raised. She is a transformational motivational speaker and performer. And say hello, Stephanie.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Hello, everybody.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Great. We’ll be back to you shortly. So for those of you who don’t know me, I’m the immediate past president and CEO of the American Foundation for the Blind. And I’m a blind person. My retinas detached when I was five years old. And in 2016, I was president and CEO of the Lighthouse for the Blind here in Seattle, and I was given the opportunity to move to New York and then to Washington, DC, and lead the American Foundation for the Blind through a turnaround process. The organization was founded in 1921. Helen Keller was their global ambassador from 1924 until she passed away in 1968. And at the time I was given the opportunity to lead the iconic AFB, they were in a severe financial downward spiral. And I spent six years working with a great team of staff, board members. And we did some difficult but necessary things to put AFB back on track. And during that time, I received contact from Stephanie, who said, I admire what American Foundation for the Blind is doing, and I would love to become part of the organization. I am a motivational speaker. I’m a performer. I think I could lend my talents to the good work. And unfortunately, we were eliminating positions and laying people off in order to cut expenses. So the timing didn’t work out well for that. But Stephanie and I had a few conversations. I learned she lived in Orlando, and I was headed to Orlando for the National Federation of the Blind conference, and we arranged to meet. And we met in the conference hotel and had a great conversation, and we’ve kept in touch since. Stephanie is a very inspirational person, a very talented person. I am honored to be considered her friend. And it’s great to have you here on the podcast, Stephanie. I want to just hand the microphone to you and ask you to tell listeners your story. And I guess, where have you been? What brought you to where you are now, and how are things now, and where do you see things going? What’s your vision for the future? What are you working to accomplish? And then we’ll let people know how they can get in touch with you. I’ll, as the host, I will sit here and listen. And if a question occurs to me, I will interrupt you and ask you questions. So be — I don’t know what they’ll be, because I don’t know what you’re going to say. But here we are, Stephanie. It’s a pleasure to have you. The floor is yours.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Thank you, thank you, thank you. I appreciate it very, very much, for the opportunity to actually be here, just hanging out with you and talking to the people. Yes, I am Stephanie D. Sanders. And I always say, now don’t forget the D. That is my middle initial, but it makes a difference when you put me in Google. But I am originally here from Central Florida, and I’m actually from Lakeland, Florida, but I’m very, very close to Orlando, right in between actually Orlando and Tampa. And like Mr. Adams said, I had the opportunity to connect with him years ago when I wanted to start to get more involved with the visually impaired and blind community, because I grew up actually as a legally blind child in one eye, but they didn’t find out until I went to kindergarten. And so just imagine those first five years, and your mother’s a teacher, and she’s trying to teach you things before you go to school, and you’re saying the wrong answer. That didn’t go over too well for a while. And she actually apologized to me later when I was an adult. She was like, I’m so sorry, I was tough on you. I did not know that I had a visual impairment at that time. So it’s actually been since birth. And went to University of Florida for some research for several months, I believe it was, as they tried to help me out in making my vision at least better in one eye. Yeah, they tried both, but it only turned out to be in one eye that they could help me more to have some vision. So then I kind of moved on and transitioned into teenage years and growing up. And I tell you, even though I had and still have a visual impairment, I absolutely, positively never let that deter me, discourage me in any way, shape or form. And I know that had to be God just instilling something, just that self motivation within myself, to not even pigeonhole myself at times into only being a visually impaired person. People saw me, they saw that I would wear glasses one day. Another day I would wear a patch, another day I would wear contacts, lost them several times. So mom was like — mom and dad are like, no, that is way too expensive. Yeah. And at that time, you were only getting one contact a year.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yeah. Let me — a couple things. So visual impairment, blindness, legal blindness means a lot of different things. Like I’m totally blind. I have been since I was five, when my retinas detached. Most people who are legally blind or visually impaired have some level of vision, usable vision. Some people can see shapes, some people can tell the difference between light and dark. Some people’s vision change. Some people have night blindness. They kind of see okay during the day, but not at night. Some people day to day, like sometimes their vision is pretty good, sometimes it’s not very good. And then there’s progressive conditions like retinitis pigmentosa. I know lots of people with RP who don’t really know they have a visual impairment till maybe they’re eight, nine, ten, 15, 20 years old, and then they discover they have retinitis pigmentosa, starting with usually difficulty seeing at night, and progressively lose the peripheral vision until people are just looking through a tunnel. Then there’s macular, where people lose the central vision. They can only see out of the sides. So it’s a one size does not fit all.
Stephanie D. Sanders: So it—
Dr. Kirk Adams: Really does. Your experience and my experience with visual impairment is obviously very different. You grew up in Florida. I grew up in little towns in Washington and Oregon. So definitely different backgrounds. But tell me about your family. Were there brothers and sisters too?
Stephanie D. Sanders: Yes, actually, I have one brother and one sister, and they’re both older, so I’m the baby of the family. And I played my role. I accepted that role as the baby in the family. I didn’t abuse it, though. I didn’t abuse it. I just had to watch my siblings and how things were going for them and mistakes they might have made here and there. And I’m like, oh, I’m not going to do that.
Dr. Kirk Adams: I have one younger brother and one sister who’s quite a bit younger, and she’s definitely the baby in some ways. We still kid her, because my dad’s famous line was, I don’t care what’s going on, I just don’t want to hear her cry.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Right. I was a bit of a tomboy. I was like a rough and tough, and just into anything and everything that was going on around me and in the neighborhood. We had kids in the neighborhood, so it was a really good time.
Dr. Kirk Adams: City, country? What kind of neighborhood?
Stephanie D. Sanders: Ours was in the city. It wasn’t like city city, but it wasn’t country either. We were kind of like right in the middle. And it was great. It was great. But see, I wish kids could get that experience that we had growing up without some of the technology right now. It just made us, I think, better kids just all around. We were just out and about, all outside. It made you more—
Dr. Kirk Adams: When the street lights come on, come home.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Exactly. You had to be creative like nobody’s business, to go outside when your parents told you to go outside and play. Okay, where are we going? Out to play. Yeah, let’s do something. Or let’s make a tribe. Let’s push the little dog in the stroller. We did all kinds of things. And I used to wrap my dog up, [unclear 00:10:26] a little baby. But she didn’t care that I had on glasses. I mean, they were a little thick, but nonetheless, I tell you, I can look at it and laugh now, because I really did not allow that to hinder me or stifle me in any way. I just kind of used my — well, I won’t say good, I—
Dr. Kirk Adams: You had usable. You had some usable vision, right?
Stephanie D. Sanders: Yes, I just use that, and I just kept moving and getting along and trying to keep up with everybody else, even though I was the baby. Yeah, I ended up transitioning on to high school and playing sports and cheerleading. I mean, literally whatever I found in my heart to do, athletic wise, or cheering and dancing, I did it. And that’s why it’s so important for me to talk to people about resilience and having a personal self-motivation within themselves, because a lot of times you may not get the motivation that you seek from other people, but you’ve got to find it within yourself to keep going and pressing on, even though you know it may be rough at times. You have to find another way to get the job done and make things work for you, no matter what the situation is. And that’s what I did. I just kept going and went on to college. And even there, I just jumped right in head first into communication.
Dr. Kirk Adams: What did you study?
Stephanie D. Sanders: I studied mass communications, radio, television and film production. Yes. And I ended up doing several television shows at the college TV station. And I had already begun doing some radio work. I started announcing sports for two minutes, five minutes every Saturday.
Dr. Kirk Adams: All right.
Stephanie D. Sanders: And I went on to do that. And the goal was to end up at ESPN. But I started turning towards entertainment more, because I did love entertainment, even from childhood. So I just kind of gravitated towards that.
Dr. Kirk Adams: And it sounds like your motivational, transformational speaking, from what you just said, is centered around resilience.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Yes, yes, very much so. And taking situations and problems and making them work for you, no matter what. That is making it work. It may not necessarily work exactly to the way that you wanted it to, but you still have an opportunity to make it work and come out with some sort of answer or resolution to whatever you were trying to get towards. Because sometimes we look at things like, it’s got to happen this way, or nothing is going to happen. And that’s not always the case. And I had to find that out for myself. We may see things and want things in a certain way, but a lot of other times it will happen, but it will happen in a different way. So that’s why I like to say now — and this just kind of popped out during a speech when I said one time, I can do anything. But I said we, because it was a group of us. I said, we can do anything that we set our minds to do, but we might have to do things differently. And that’s okay. Because even with us as visually impaired people or blind people, we can still do certain things. I’ve met so many people at some of the conventions and things who are doing much more than people think that we can do. And I was just so amazed and really happy about it, because I had not been involved with any groups or anything, all the way up until the time that I contacted you.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Okay. And that’s interesting, because community is so important. So I went to a school for blind kids first, second and third grade, and then off to regular public school. I learned how to read and write Braille and use the long white cane and type on a typewriter. So I had the skills to be in the public school, and I’d get my textbooks in Braille. And then if there were tests or papers or spelling tests, I would type on a typewriter. But I was always the only blind kid in my school. So I lived in small towns, small country towns. And I went through college — no other blind kids, no other blind students at my small college. And then I went into the banking finance industry for ten years, and no people who were apparently blind or visually impaired in any of my work settings. And then when I was around 30, I decided to transition into the nonprofit sector. And my first nonprofit job was, I was a development officer for the Seattle Public Library Foundation. I was raising money for the state Talking Book and Braille Library, and my office was actually at the Talking Book and Braille Library. So all of a sudden I was around lots of blind people and got connected through the work with the National Federation of the Blind of Washington and the Washington Council of the Blind, and visited the school for the blind. And all of a sudden I found all these people, just like you were saying, people who’ve had similar and different pathways through the lived experience of being blind and visually impaired, people who are doing amazing things. And it was — you know, I’m 65 years old, so I became blind in 1966. So my parents were 25 years old. They’d never met a blind person in their life before. My retinas detached and we were not connected with anybody. They didn’t know any other blind — they didn’t know any other parents of blind kids. I didn’t have any blind role models. But now, with the technology we have, you said, put Stephanie D. Sanders into the search engine, people can find you. But we can find each other now. We can connect now. You and I live 3,000 miles apart, and we’ve kept in touch through technology. And here we are recording this podcast together with technology. So I just wanted to emphasize the importance of community. And I know you are very interested in building and supporting community. And you talk about motivational speaking and speaking to groups, but you also say motivational, transformational speaker and performer. So I’d love to hear about the performance part. You said you had the ESPN goal, and then you started thinking maybe entertainment. So yes, I’d love to hear about that, and what led you to be a performer, and what your performances entail, and how do you use performance to motivate people and to build community?
Stephanie D. Sanders: Well, I know the gifts came from one, God, and then through my mother, because my mother sang opera and gospel music, and I know they came from her. But the thing about it was, I did not sound like Whitney Houston initially in the beginning. So my little dreams were shattered initially. But it didn’t stop me. I took that little red radio in the bathroom, and I would just practice for like an hour and come out sweating. But I started singing. And then once I decided to sing—
Dr. Kirk Adams: And how old were you then?
Stephanie D. Sanders: I started singing just in general — I know I was in my very early teens. And I would sing at home, but I had never sung or anything like that until maybe my senior year in high school, when they had a talent show. And that was my very first time singing. And I did a pretty good job.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Do you remember what you sang?
Stephanie D. Sanders: It was Anita Baker. I want to say, Caught Up in the Rapture, by Anita Baker.
Dr. Kirk Adams: I know it well.
Stephanie D. Sanders: And I sang the song. I was nervous, so I just focused in on one of my friends through most of the time. And after that, I really didn’t sing much more, because I was focused on sports and wanting to go to college and the Olympics. And I ended up getting injured.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Oh. What were your sports of choice?
Stephanie D. Sanders: My sports of choice was basketball and track and field. I wanted to go to college for track and field and to the Olympics for track and field.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Wow. Yeah. You had some aspirations.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Oh, yes. I tell you, I did, because that was just a part of me and who I was. But when the show — I don’t know if people remember that television show Fame.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Oh, yeah. With Coco.
Stephanie D. Sanders: [Debbie Allen? 00:20:12] and — oh my God. Yeah. And that show came out, I just lost my marbles, because it was something inside of me just fired off. And I was like that. I didn’t even say it, but I could feel it. That’s me. That’s me. So before I even got out of high school, I was already looking, where was I going to go? Was I going to go to a school of the arts, if this school was a real school? Or was I going to go for sports? So I tried both of them, and then I ended up getting injured in a sport, basketball. And that kind of ruined my chances there for track and field.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yeah. That does happen to people.
Stephanie D. Sanders: And I left that alone. And so I said to myself, okay, well, if you can’t play sports, what about announcing? So that’s when I started doing the sports announcing for the radio station.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Okay.
Stephanie D. Sanders: And then when I got to college, that shifted to not only doing some sports announcing, but it turned into entertainment hosting and reporting for the college station. So that’s how I kind of transitioned over into that. And that’s kind of where I’ve been at at this point. I moved on and started working with a production company for voiceovers, and did that for about — I think I did that for about six months as an intern, and then as a part time employee in Atlanta. Then I found a person and he found me, once again, and through a pen pal service. And I ended up in Seattle. He was out there working. And so I went out there, and we were thinking and planning on getting married and all of that. So I went out to Seattle and started working at a radio station. And so I worked out there for about four or five years at a radio station there.
Dr. Kirk Adams: I don’t think I knew you were in Seattle at one point. Very interesting.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Was it? I think it was 1993.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Okay. Yeah, I was here. We hadn’t met yet. I was here.
Stephanie D. Sanders: And I worked at the radio station for five, and maybe two years. No, because by 2000 we moved to Los Angeles, after going to the Hollywood Black Film Festival.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Okay.
Stephanie D. Sanders: And what did we want to do that for?
Dr. Kirk Adams: Oh, I—
Stephanie D. Sanders: Know. Boy. Moved to LA. I mean, we went to the Hollywood Black Film Festival to volunteer and got to know more about the place and everything. I ended up in a workshop where we had to do an improv performance. And I was dressed up, and the man told me what I had to do. And I just let loose. I didn’t hold back. And it was just natural for me. And I was down there rolling around on the ground in my little dress suit and everything, doing the whole improv. And I hopped up and I went to sit down. I was sweating, and I started sweating. And as I was going to sit down, there was a lady that rushed up to me and hugged me like she knew me. And she just told me how good it was and how just authentic it was. And I was surprised. No one other than one other person had ever talked to me like that. And found out that she was Cee Cee Michaela. She played the officer on a television show, Girlfriends.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Okay.
Stephanie D. Sanders: She was like a nutty kind of a security guard.
Dr. Kirk Adams: All right.
Stephanie D. Sanders: So she told me — we talked for a while. She walked me to the car with her left hand, and she told me I should consider moving to LA. She’s like, you’ve got it. And so we did. I think it took about a year and a half later, we moved to LA.
Dr. Kirk Adams: All right.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Yeah. So I tell you, I did. This little train has been moving for a while.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yes.
Stephanie D. Sanders: And I like it. It’s just like [unclear 00:24:45] almost non-stop. And sometimes people ask folks like me, creatives and things like that, but why do you do what you do? Why do you keep doing it? Well, because I haven’t reached the goals that I want to. There’s certain goals in my mind that I would like to get to, and then be able to produce my own projects for television and film, and continue doing my music and speaking. Those are big for me. So when you feel it like that, and you know it’s something you can’t shake, and when you recognize that, you’ve got to just dig deep, put your heels in there and keep going. Because hearing that — that’s why I wrote my book, One More Day.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Oh, okay. Let’s hear about the book.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Yes. Actually, I came out with a CD entitled One More Day. And then I said, okay, I need to expand that, because there’s a place where these songs came from. And I expanded it and went ahead and wrote the book entitled One More Day, and recorded my own voiceover audiobook with the same title. And that’s where all of that came from. There are about three or four different scenarios that are in that book that had happened in my life. It just led me to a point of realizing, if you’re not really doing what you feel led in your heart to do, I mean, it could literally feel like you’re dying, because it’s such a deep passion inside of you to give what you were called to do and to use the gifts and talents that we have.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Right?
Stephanie D. Sanders: And when you use them, it’s really like an adrenaline rush, because you’re releasing those things that are already inside of you. And there’s so many things that we have inside of us that people need. But if we don’t use them, and if we don’t give them, then someone may not get what you have to give.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Right?
Stephanie D. Sanders: So we have to be open and stay open and available to using our gifts and talents to the fullest.
Dr. Kirk Adams: And being able — your purpose and your passion.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Yes. Exactly. Yes. And I realized that—
Dr. Kirk Adams: I’m interrupting you before I forget this thought. I’m going to misquote it, and I can’t attribute who said it, so I’m not going to try. But there’s an aphorism that says that the place you should live is where your deep passion meets the world’s deep need. So you are fulfilling a need that the world has. At the same time, you are living out your passion and your purpose. So that sounds a lot like what you’ve been striving to do.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Yes, yes, I definitely would say that. I definitely would say that, because you feel a passion not only for what you do, but a passion for the people who can receive it. And I mean, I’ve been in certain places or situations — like most of the material that I have is inspirational type of music, and some is motivational, some is love oriented. But I remember a time when I was in a group, and I was just singing with the group because the gentleman, one of the gentlemen in the group, was my producer. And it was in a club setting. I was used to going to a club setting and still singing my inspirational material. I had no problem, and I went ahead and did my two or three songs. And by the time I got down, it was a lady waiting on the side, and she had a drink in her hand, but she wasn’t drinking it. She walked up to me and she just told me — she leaned over in my ear and told me that that song really touched her, and the message, she really enjoyed the message, and where can she get it? And so I told her that it was available on Amazon, and I also had one with me. And so she went ahead and got that.
Dr. Kirk Adams: And that’s the One More Day album.
Stephanie D. Sanders: The One More Day album. Yes.
Dr. Kirk Adams: And people can find that on Amazon.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Yes. They can find that on Amazon.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Get One More Day, by Stephanie D. Sanders.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Yes, sir. And there’s going to be some more material coming out from that. It’s just a different spin off from the actual singing style, but I’m going to be coming out with some new material. Well, it’ll be new in a sense. The delivery is going to be different. And it’s coming up really soon, along with some other material that I have for children and so forth. I’m trying to give it away. But you know.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yeah. It’s going to be a surprise.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Yeah. That’s kind of how I like to function when I do things. A life coach had told me once before to move in silence, especially while you’re working on certain things and you’re doing them, to move in silence to a certain degree. And I had already been doing that, but it just put an emphasis on it. And then when it’s ready and you have it out there, it’s like, boom. I’m popping out with it.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yeah, I like it.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Where have you been? Where have you been doing?
Dr. Kirk Adams: Well, you make sure to let me know when the boom happens, so I can spread the word across my platforms in my social network. So I do want to talk a little bit about intersectionality. So you’re an African American woman. I’m a white male. I’m married to an African American woman. We just had our 41st wedding anniversary.
Stephanie D. Sanders: That’s what I want.
Dr. Kirk Adams: We met when we were in college, when we were 18. We have two adult children. Her son will be 40 this year. Our daughter is 36. Then we have a couple grandchildren. And as a person of color, a woman, a person with a visual impairment, you’re experiencing a lot of dynamics of stereotypes and misperceptions and structural barriers. And I understand privilege, and I understand my white male privilege. And then I understand when people find out I’m blind, that the white male privilege dynamic shifts, and shifts quite a bit. So I had an instance where our daughter — this is during the time of the pandemic, she was living in New York City, and she bailed out of there because that was kind of the epicenter of the pandemic. She came and stayed with us in our apartment in Arlington, Virginia, for a while. And then she decided she was going to move back to Los Angeles, and she wanted a car. So she did her research, and she figured out it was cheaper for her to buy a car in Virginia and put it on a train out to California, rather than buy it in California and pay the taxes. So she did the research and found the car that she wanted. It was a Honda Fit. She had certain criteria, and she said, Dad, I want you to call these five car dealers and tell them you are Dr. Kirk Adams and you want to buy the car and you’re going to pay cash and you want it tomorrow. And what price can you get? So I called and made these calls. I’m Dr. Kirk Adams. I want to buy a Honda Fit. And of course it’s not for me, because I can’t drive because I’m blind. But I didn’t say that. And you know, I started out with 225 and I got it. I [found it to her? 00:33:05] for 17,000. And then she and my wife, who’s African American, walked in the next day and bought the car for Rachel. So I had that experience, which I believe my experience would have been different than if a 25 year old young lady was calling. And then when I was applying for jobs, first thing out of college, I had the experience where I would send in a resume and an application for a job. And at that time it was all on paper. So I sent my resume and my nice cover letter on nice paper. And sometimes I’d get a call, and it was oftentimes a phone interview, and I’d do the phone interview. These were banking and finance jobs, and the phone interview would go great. I was an econ major. I had a four point. I had a Phi Beta Kappa, cum laude, and all that stuff that those employers liked in the entry level employee. And they’d invite me in for the in-person interview. Then I’d walk in with my long white cane, and I’d have a slate and stylus so I could take some notes in Braille. And then the confusion would set in on the room, because the employer would be looking at me and thinking, how in the heck could this blind kid do this job he’s applying for? So I wasn’t getting hired. And I had that experience numerous times. And then I started disclosing in my cover letter. I started saying, I’m blind, I have been since age five, here’s how I’ve accomplished all these things that I’ve listed on my resume, here’s how I’ll do this job. And then I wasn’t even getting the phone interviews. So I just wonder if you have any reflections on experiences you’ve had as a Black woman trying to accomplish all these things that you’ve aspired to, and a person with a visual impairment. Any thoughts or reflections on the things I’ve just said.
Stephanie D. Sanders: I remember there was one time or two when I was trying to — I think it was a cheerleading team or something. Well, I had two different cheerleading experiences. And I think they were a little hesitant because I had a visual impairment. You really can’t see it unless I tell you, or unless my eyes kind of cross up a little bit every blue moon.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yeah.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Every blue moon. And it was something like that. And then as a Black woman, there have been other times in stores or things like that. I wonder at times when I would submit for certain jobs or whatnot, I wonder about some of that. And even now you wonder about certain things, when you see quite a few people doing particular jobs or whatever the case may be. And you wonder, where was I at? I was somewhere. I was somewhere, and I was literally the only person in the room. No, two of us. But I was there because I was singing. A friend of mine who was Caucasian, she told the people about me, and I was in the room. And at that time I was the only one, until a gentleman came that I knew of. But he had been a commissioner, so he was used to coming to certain events and things like that. So they didn’t treat me any different at that time, once I got there. But sometimes you wonder about things like that, that happen in life. And you wonder, did you get that role? You know, did you not get that role, or did you not get that audition for certain things because of this, that or the other? Because a lot of times on the auditions, they’ll say like, all ethnicities, you can submit for it. But you wonder at times, do they already have something in mind, but just leaving it open to be fair, you know?
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yeah. I mean, I didn’t want to dwell on it, but when you said a couple of things, you said, just made me think of bringing it forward. I think it’s good to be open and authentic that way. We live in a racist, ableist, misogynistic society. So I think it’s good to acknowledge that.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Well, and then this will be a personal thing for me. Most of the time, I don’t even think about it, you know, when it comes to that, because I think to myself, okay, whatever God wants me to have, I’m going to get it anyway.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Gotcha.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Earlier on in my audition process, I would go in and I would try to be this, and I would try to be this, and you know what I’m saying? And it wasn’t until after maybe that audition I had done in Los Angeles, I was like, wait a minute. Yes, you can be the character when you go in there, but you need to reel that back in and just be yourself. Be the character, be yourself. You don’t have to try and transform completely like that.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Right.
Stephanie D. Sanders: And after that moment, I just never, ever — even when people say, oh, that’s such a competitive field, whatever. Okay. And what? That means nothing to me, because I’m still going to submit. I’m still going to do my thing. I’m still going to write letters to people. I’m still going to reach out. Yeah, one of my bosses told me in Los Angeles, when I’m writing to certain people and whatnot, go to the top, write to the person at the top. Henceforth, I wrote to you.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Okay.
Stephanie D. Sanders: I contacted you when you were the president. And it’s like he told me, because even if you can’t get to them, they can at least bring you down and send you down to wherever you can communicate with someone. But they still know you now, and they know your name now. So I’ve just been grateful to have a mindset like, I don’t care if a billion people submit for this audition, I’m going to submit if I feel that I can do it. If I feel that I can do whatever, I’m going to submit, and that’s it. Once I do, then I let it go. And I move on.
Dr. Kirk Adams: And you’ve mentioned your faith a couple of times. Would you like to talk about how important that is to you?
Stephanie D. Sanders: Yes. Thank you, I appreciate that. My faith is definitely important to me. Instilled from a young age, and didn’t really grasp hold of it for myself personally until I went to college. And at first Sunday I said, I’m not going to church. I’m not going anymore. I went all the time.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yeah. Mama made me.
Stephanie D. Sanders: I did not go the first time. Ooh.
Dr. Kirk Adams: That messed—
Stephanie D. Sanders: With me. With me, it’s like, ooh, I feel really bad right now. I went the next Sunday, and it was just enlightening, just refreshing and everything. And I was like, this is when you have to decide that thing for yourself. And that’s what I did. And just continue to get better each year. And age has definitely helped out. I still won’t ever reach the pinnacle, but I just keep moving forward, to keep trusting and believing that God has the very best out there for me in every aspect of life. I mean, from love to relationships, business, career things and so forth.
Dr. Kirk Adams: So, yeah.
Stephanie D. Sanders: There are times when, you know, you feel like, oh my goodness, why didn’t I get that? Why didn’t I get that? So come on, come on, come on. I’m like, come on, come on, come on, Lord, it’s right here. But then I have to step back and just say, you need to calm down. Yeah. Because whatever is for you is going to be for you. And I just have to keep trusting and believing that in his timing, it’ll all work out. I know we get frustrated. Now please trust and believe, I understand that. Yeah, because I’ve gotten frustrated at times from a relationship, not having one, desiring one, and career things, especially with the entertainment. But I just have to, like my song says, you’ve got to just keep holding on. And it’s called Hold On Tight. I almost started singing it right there. I almost burst out and start singing the chorus.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Feel free, Stephanie. If you’re comfortable, give us at least a couple lines.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Sure, I will. Okay. Hold on tight and don’t give up the fight. If you hold on tight, it will be alright.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Stephanie Sanders, ladies and gentlemen.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Yay! Yes!
Dr. Kirk Adams: And so if people are interested in talking to you about coming to speak to a group, or if people want to listen to your music or read your book, what’s the best way for people to get in touch?
Stephanie D. Sanders: They can actually email me at bookstephaniedsanders@yahoo.com, or you can go ahead and reach out to me online. Facebook, on Instagram, on TikTok, because I will answer. And we can definitely just make this happen, because I tell you, like my coach told me, I’m like an Amtrak train with no gears and no brakes.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Well, everyone, reach out to Stephanie D. Sanders. In my mind, the D is for delightful. I don’t know what your middle name is, but that’s how I remember to never forget the D, because you are a delightful person. And so reach out. bookstephaniedsanders@yahoo.com, or Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Stephanie D. Sanders. Please reach out to her. She’ll be a ray of sunshine in your day if you do.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Absolutely.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yes. And as for me, my website is Dr. Kirk Adams, [unclear 00:44:48] https://drkirkadams.com. And I have a newsletter sign up there. I’m also on LinkedIn a lot. So it’s Kirk Adams, PhD. I’m also, Stephanie, I’m serving as the executive director for a nonprofit based here called the Institute for Sustainable Diversity and Inclusion. And we just launched a Community Coalition, which is a membership organization that people can join and join forces with other people who are passionate about diversity, equity, inclusion, accessibility, belonging, social justice, human dignity. So I’d love to talk to anyone out there about the Coalition. So please reach out to Stephanie. Reach out to me. Reach out to each other. Let’s build this community together. And Stephanie, I’m so glad that you reached out to me those many years ago when I was at AFB. I’m glad we met and had that heart to heart conversation in that busy hotel lobby during the NFB convention in Orlando. And I’m so glad we’ve kept in touch. And thank you for blessing us with a little bit of your song. Oh, beautiful. And you’re beautiful. And you have a great rest of your day.
Stephanie D. Sanders: Thank you, I appreciate it. Thank you, everybody.
Dr. Kirk Adams: Yep. Thanks. We’ll see you next time on another episode of Podcasts by Dr. Kirk Adams.
Podcast Commentator: Thank you for listening to Podcasts by Dr. Kirk Adams. We hope you enjoyed today’s conversation. Don’t forget to subscribe, share or leave a review at https://www.drkirkadams.com. Together, we can amplify these voices and create positive change. Until next time, keep listening, keep learning, and keep making an impact.
Dr. Kirk Adams, Ph.D.
Advocate, Leader and Keynote Speaker on Disability Inclusion & Leadership
Leading the Way to Accessible Innovation
” Inclusion isn’t just the right thing to do — it’s a strategic advantage. “
Institute for Sustainable Diversity and Inclusion (ISDI)
Executive Director
Strengthening individual and organizational capability for creating diverse, inclusive and equitable workplaces.
Innovative Impact, LLC Consulting
Managing Director
Impactful Workforce Inclusion Starts Here
American Foundation for the Blind
Immediate Past President & CEO
To create a world of no limits for people who are blind or visually impaired.
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